Actually, as it turns out, it's more an Apache problem than a PHP problem. I tried to downgrade PHP, but it turns out that it won't work. Instead, I brought PHP to Lucid's level, but installed Apache from Karmic, and that solved the problem. At this point, I suspect that I might have a buggered config, or there may be a bug in Apache that needs addressing.
Actually, as it turns out, it's more an Apache problem than a PHP problem. I tried to downgrade PHP, but it turns out that it won't work. Instead, I brought PHP to Lucid's level, but installed Apache from Karmic, and that solved the problem. At this point, I suspect that I might have a buggered config, or there may be a bug in Apache that needs addressing.